New Year's Revolutions

My dad calls them "revolutions" because he says that you have to revolt against procrastination, and just do it each year.

I have never made any official resolutions, but something in the air this year/where I am in life/my age wants me to do it, so here goes...

I resolve to make resolutions for ME and not for I what I think I OUGHT to do or what I think others EXPECT of me.

I resolve to be healthier...

• I will go to the gym at LEAST once a week.  That doesn't sound like much, and I would like to go more often.  Promising to go once a week will keep me from getting into the ruts I get in now of not going for 1 to 2 whole weeks.  Once a week is enough for now, and better than nothing!
• I will eat my allergen free diet.  No more "holiday" exceptions.  My eyes are swollen and my nose is dripping as I write this because I allowed an exception.  I am unhappy like this, and just plain tired.  Not only will I avoid this mild anaphylaxis, but I will be all around healthier.

I resolve to be happy, and worthy of happiness...

• I will not let the misery and anxiety of others bring me down.  I will NOT be an enabler.  I can be supportive of my friends and family, but I don't have to BE LIKE them.  I deserve contentment.
• I will do what I want to do, within reason and considering those affected by the decision.  So many times I make choices without ever thinking about what I want.  It's not about being selfish, but about being happy, even at risk of arguing.  I care what people think, but I care more about being true to myself.

I resolve to keep reaching for my dreams...

• I will begin trying for citizenship after "La Befana".  I know how hard it is going to be and it will cost me more money than I'd like, but it is the first step and I WILL take it.
• I will read books and blogs and articles, and get to know more people living in Italy.  I love to write and read about the country/city that I love.  It helps to bide the time until I am there again, and reminds me of what I am fighting for.
• I will squirrel away my nickels and dimes for a trip.  It may happen in 6 months, it may happen in a year,  or it may happen after A. finishes grad school (if he goes).  Whatever the case, I will continue to save what little extra change I have until I can see Italy again.  

I resolve to forgive myself....

• For taking so long to realize that I need to do some of these things.
• For not sticking to some of my goals in the past and in the future.
• For being human and fallible.
• For not showing unconditional love and not forgiving those around me.

I resolve to forgive others, even if they don't apologize....

• For not being the way I think they should me (from my pinnacle of perfection).
• For not always showing the love I know they have for me.
• For being fallible too.

Most of all, I resolve to LOVE life and not to take its ups and downs so seriously, to accept that I am not in control of everything...that there are factors in life that I cannot even fathom and therefore are out of my hands, and to take relief in that fact.  I can steer the boat, but the river will narrow, widen, slow and quicken.  I will get there, wherever it may be!